2010,  rants'r'us,  reflection

Post 1817

So today is the first day that I seem to be suffering from pregnancy horomones, an overabundance of them.  And you really can’t control them no matter how hard you try, or how much you realize that it’s something you’d normally call mundane or let slide off your back.  It’s rather ridiculous if you ask me.  I can’t wait until it’s really bad during the early post-partum period. lol

I just had the stupidest thing at work make me feel sad. I shouldn’t be. I should be happy but it didn’t have that effect. Oh well, whatever.

I will admit that recently I’ve been feeling a little disconnected. Disconnected from the world. My family. My friends. J. I really like working the late shift because I’m not a morning person and will take all extra sleep I can get, especially now, but getting off for 5:45-6pm is crazy. It’s already almost bedtime back home before I even get home. Let’s not even think about having supper, if there are things I need to take care of or people to call back East, until those things are taken care of. Then I get to have lunch alone at the house with a dog that is a “Daddy’s girl”.  I miss my lunch hours with J.  We almost always have had a chance to have lunch together ever since we have been together. Then things are busy for him at work, which is a good thing because he’s banking time for the arrival of the baby, but sucks for me because I get to spend my Saturday’s alone and sometimes my evenings (like tonight, for instance). And Scotia certainly doesn’t make it easier on me.

It’s just days like this, and weeks like this, that make me not want to be here. I share as much as I can through pictures and over the phone, but I really dislike talking on the phone so I try not to use it, but it’s not the same as having the option to do it all in person.  Everyone has moments like this in one way or the other and it will pass. It always does.


  • buffy

    yeah certain commercials could make me sad at the drop of a hat…it doesn’t happen anymore but do not ever watch movies where the kids get hurt… mommies are softies forever more..its truly quite annoying.
    as for time away from john don’t think of it as time alone, think of it as the last free moments of ur life, u get to pee in private…u’re gonna miss that

  • Jillian

    I miss you desperately, wedding planning is just not the same without you, i miss our summer times of swimming in J’s pool, drinking and going to Halifax for road trips and an unlimited supply of cookie dough blizzards …hugs to you and baby A

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