If you asked me that I would be posting this about 7 months ago, I probably would have thought you were crazy. I didn’t know if I was going to make it this far and somehow my body overcame and the baby thrived. I did my best to protect our little bean. I did whatever it took. I spent many weeks in bed trying to not worry about me, our bean, and the fact that I wasn’t earning money. But money was the least important thing at that time and we managed. I had many conversations with the Man upstairs and many phone calls to my Mother, Lisa, Carli, & Kim to talk and vent and cry. Mainly cry. But my little man is a determined fighter and knew he was meant to be.
I honestly can’t believe that I’m sitting here today waiting. All that stands in our way now, pretty much, is time. His organs are formed. He’s just packing on the lbs (about an half an ounce a day or so) and strengthening his immune system (which, btw, I hope he gets from me, I have a pretty sweet immune system). He’s just growing like a weed and making my belly do the weirdest things. One of these days I’ll get it on video. I got little kicks and punches here and there but not the “alien belly” I get frequently. That is my goal this weekend.
I spent the longest day at the clinic yesterday. There were a lot of babies being born here in our city yesterday. Let’s just say I didn’t get back to work until 2:15. We were just about to get all the particulars of the appt. and measurements when the phone rang. I literally just laid down on the table and off the Dr. had to go yet again. About an 1.25hour later he was back and finished up the appt. Everything is perfect. Just where it should be.
So now begins the waiting game. But really, I’m not counting down the days. I’m not uncomfortable. I’m sleeping well. I’m not running to the bathroom every 20 mins. I don’t have a sore back. I don’t have swollen hands, face, or feet. I have love being pregnant. I love my huge baby bump. I am going to miss feeling him move around in my stomach. I know that I am lucky. I feel that all the heartache I had in the first was my quota and was blessed with a relatively easy pregnancy (minus the large hiccup and my GD) and hopefully this comfort carries over into labour and delivery…but we’ll see.
I can’t wait to meet him and see if he has blonde hair and blue eyes like his Daddy (well me too since I was a blondie when I was young but my eyes are green). I want to see if he actually has my chin. What about my nose? My crooked pinkies? Daddy’s large hands and feet? Who’s lips and ears will he have? I have a feeling I’m having a mini-J but I’m a-ok with that! J was a very cute kid and isn’t so bad as an adult! 😉 I hope that he will eventually have a loud, hearty laugh like myself. I can’t wait to see what our kid will become. I can’t imagine the change that he is going to bring within our lives and within ourselves. It’s going to be overwhelming but worth every step.
I’m surprisingly not that worried about labour. My body is made to do this and there is no avoiding it. So why fear something you can’t change or stop. It’s only temporary and gives the greatest gift of all. Not to say that I’m not slightly apprehensive and sometimes fearful of the unknown but I know there is no stopping it. If it ends in a c/s I’m ok with that too… do whatever it takes for me and Bambino to be healthy. I have surrounded myself with the best labour support system I can have, especially considering family and friends are no where near. I think J and Loree will be just what I need. I’m glad we went with a doula. She’s so full of knowledge and gives the support that I don’t even know I’m going to need. Plus, I really wanted someone there for J. Someone to give him the support. I knew he wouldn’t have left my side if it meant me being alone. He wouldn’t rest. Even if it were for just 5 min. I need someone to support him and explain things to him, that even I don’t understand. And this way, he can be as involved as he is comfortable. If he just wants to sit and hold my hand he can or if he needs to go for a quick walk, he can. There is someone else there to take care of the two of us. Someone who has birthed 3 of her own kids and well over 800 babies as a doula. She’s seen it all. Plus all the Dr’s and nurses know her and they know she knows when interventions are necessary and she can usually avoid most of them. I learned that my hospital has a 33% c-section rate but hers is just 8%. I like those odds a whole lot better.
But, back on track. I’m full-term. I will have a baby in the next 3-5 weeks. He will be on the outside and I can no longer protect him from the outside world easily. But I can’t wait to see his eyes and eventually see his smile and hear his laugh.
Not much time left now….