• 2019,  BabyA2012,  Grieving Mom

    You would have been 7.

    April 1, 2019. You should have been 7. Lucky #7. Instead, you are forever 6 and it’s exactly 10 months since you left us. I don’t know how I’m going to process and manage the day. A birthday with no streamers and celebration. We will of course celebrate you best we are able and remember but it won’t be a joyous celebration of yet another year under your belt wondering what this next year was going to entail. Last year you were on the precipice of BIG things. I saw it. Everyone else saw it. You were changing. You were so strong and finally showing everyone what we already knew…how…

  • 2019,  BabyA2019

    The light breaking through the clouds

    This is me minutes after giving birth to Bennett. It’s unfiltered. It’s just me in the moment. I absolutely love this photo. People have been asking how can I possibly look this good minutes after giving birth. Half joking, half serious. But honestly, it was the cumulation of 9.5 months of Hell, fear, anticipation and worry and being able to put most of it behind me. When I see this photo and I see the joy radiating from my face. I see a look in my eye that has been missing since June 1st. It’s every bit of happiness I may have stifled or pushed aside since losing Noah came…

  • 2019,  BabyA2019

    Our Rainbow is Here!

    BabyA 2019 finally decided he was ready to join the party earth side earlier today. We couldn’t be more happy and overjoyed to finally meet this little man who has kept the joy during the darkest days of our lives. Both Mama and baby are doing great. More to come later. Off to enjoy more baby snuggles. <3

  • 2018

    2019 has arrived.

    I made it through Christmas. I did better than I thought I would. The kids excitement got us through. Seeing them be happy and just be kids instead of kids carrying a burden that is much larger than themselves was good for the soul. I love how they would just remember Noah or talk about him out of the blue about something that struck their memory. They each had their moments of realization though and it was a hard conversation or a long sit together in a knowing silence but overall, I survived Christmas. The dread for me was yesterday. It was today. Everyone was reminiscing over their year of…

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