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The light breaking through the clouds
This is me minutes after giving birth to Bennett. It’s unfiltered. It’s just me in the moment. I absolutely love this photo. People have been asking how can I possibly look this good minutes after giving birth. Half joking, half serious. But honestly, it was the cumulation of 9.5 months of Hell, fear, anticipation and worry and being able to put most of it behind me. When I see this photo and I see the joy radiating from my face. I see a look in my eye that has been missing since June 1st. It’s every bit of happiness I may have stifled or pushed aside since losing Noah came…
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Our Rainbow is Here!
BabyA 2019 finally decided he was ready to join the party earth side earlier today. We couldn’t be more happy and overjoyed to finally meet this little man who has kept the joy during the darkest days of our lives. Both Mama and baby are doing great. More to come later. Off to enjoy more baby snuggles. <3
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I open Facebook to see one of those year in review posts that they do with your photos and I instantly felt anxiety creep up into my throat. 2018 was not the year I thought it would be. I can only imagine the photos the algorithm picked out. It has been the worst year of our lives. It wasn’t a year I overly want to review or celebrate. I started the year with a blog telling everyone about the 11 week pregnancy I lost over New Years that I titled, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out 2017” and the last line read, “we are entering 2018…
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I don’t know…
It seems insurmountable most days. How is this my life….for the rest of my life? There is no escaping this reality. It’s not going to “get better”. It can’t be fixed. It can’t be forgotten. I will forever have a son who now only lives in my heart and throughout our memories. There is going to be years of experiences and moments where I think “Noah would have loved this”, “Noah should be right there”, etc. I’m sure there might even be times where my mind wanders and sees him forever my 6 year year old. As this school year started, the excitement I usually have is gone. I just don’t…
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Once upon a dream
I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam And I know it’s true that visions are seldom all they seem But if I know you, I know what you’ll do You’ll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream This morning after your sister woke up at 5am, I went back to sleep and for the first time you came to me in my dream. It wasn’t until the end but we were living in Stellarton, my house was on the main street not far from where my Gram…