Meh.

Not feeling the love for myself at the moment. It’s hard to explain. I’m just so insecure and have lost all confidence. I can’t go out without keeping my arms across my stomach. What do I think I’m hiding?! Nothing. Probably drawing more attention to the lbs I’ve put on. But I can’t help it. It’s almost like I’m ashamed. I don’t know why I gained the weight either…it all came on in April and I didn’t change anything. However, I figured it would be ok because I usually lose weight every summer and gain it back for winter. Well, I haven’t lost any weight this summer…probably gained more if I jumped on the scale…so I can’t wait for the winter to come again to gain the winter pudge!

I should be sure of myself, no matter what I weigh. But this is not the case. I’m so insecure, I guess would be the word. It’s such a strange feeling…hopefully things turn around soon and I can at least be ok with the way things are…