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Dear Fredericton Drivers

Posted by on March 24, 2007

Where did you get your licenses? A cracker jack box? No, that’s too good for the ones I encountered yesterday. So infuriating. So this is my ode to the two of you (but there were many more yesterday, I’m just making examples. hehe)

Dear Old Woman in the Buick,
I know it must be hard to see since you are old. But if you can’t see 2 big red brake lights and a blinking yellow light then 2 white reverse lights you should NOT be in the road.

You: “What is that blinking yellow light I see? Man my cataracts must be acting up today. Go away redundant blinking yellow light and let me drive! Blink blink blink blink. Ahhh, it’s making me crazy. Go away blinking yellow light!”

Me: “Get the f#(& out of my way. What the heck are you doing?! Man, that is a blinker signaling that my gold cavalier is trying to parallel park into a parking spot. Do you even know where we are? We are on Queen Street during rush hour and this is where you park when you want to go to the bank. Frig. You should not be on the road!”

So here’s the quick rundown. I was about to parallel park (which I can do in my sleep and love doing) on Queen Street. I pulled up beside the car, had my signal on, and pulled it into reverse. I start to back up and inch into my spot. All while you continue to inch forwards. I want to pull out of my spot a bit to straighten out and avoid the curb but now you have blocked me in. I inch forwards to straighten out and to re-situate myself and you take this as a signal to inch forward yet again. Now, I’m stuck. By now I’m pissed and I don’t beep and yell at strangers (but man, was I close) so I just pull in, butt up against the curb and stay crooked. It was the worst parking job I have ever seen but you are one of the dumbest drivers I have ever seen so it couldn’t be helped. I wish I had a picture of this park job though, it made me look like an ass.

Thank you for being a tool, but next time take it elsewhere
Sincerely,
The irate newlywed driving the gold car

Dear middle-aged man driving the old burgundy toyota,
When you pull up to a 4-way stop and want to turn right, you look 3 ways…not just left and right. What about the people ACROSS from you who got there first and are turning left!?!

You are so dumb and should not be gracing Fredericton’s roads with your presence.

As much as I would have liked to have had a burgundy dent on the side of our gold cavalier, I think you can save your bad driving to some other unsuspecting bad driver.

How you can miss a car across from you taking a left turn across open lanes of traffic is beyond me. I take the left since I got there first and THEN you take your turn and turn left. Maybe this is news to you, but both of us can’t go at the same time. 😮

So learn to drive dumbass and stay away from me please. As much as my husband with a broken leg would have liked to have been rammed into on that side…he’d like to keep his knees and to keep healing nicely.

Thank you.
Sincerely,
The woman who was in the middle of the intersection when you decided you couldn’t wait any longer and went.

2 Responses to Dear Fredericton Drivers

  1. Meghan

    Funny you’d post this..yesterday we went for our usual Friday stroll downtown. In the driveway by our stairs there was a girl that was just sitting there staring at us. So nice of her not to move so we had to walk in the mud..well when we reached the picture frame shop just down the road a huge SUV was backing up. The woman decided she shouldn’t have to wait for pedestrians so just as we were about to walk behind her she gunned it and then just stared at us like we were nuts because we looked pissed!! So I think you’re right when you say bad drivers..considering the time we were hit off the sidewalk and then the numerous other close calls…I should be allowed to walk around with a 22 just to ensure my own safety lol!!

  2. Jillian

    Hhahaa those letters could be applied to drivers in moncton too. funny tonight i was on mountain road and it was green light, ready to turn left and the car was sitting there, i beep once, doesnt go, beep twice doesnt go beep and hold finally goes then meet him at another intersection where on a red light he decides to turn, learn your colors again@@

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