2007,  School Talk

Procrastination Break!

So it’s night before a big exam and what am I doing? I’ve finished reading all the chapters and started a slight review but then Criminal Minds (2 hr special) came on and totally distracted me. Such a good episode. It was a mind-bender that’s for sure. Who knew “Dawson” was such a good actor…totally pulled off the psychotic, tri-personality killer. Who knew it was in him.

Now you’d think I would be headed back to the books. Well if it was anyone else they would be back studying hard…but you’ll find me sitting here on the couch with John, Dane, & Meghan watching Saw III. It’s definitely more gory than the others so far and we aren’t that far into the movie…only 23min. But I love horror movies…bring on the scare…bring on the gore. Maybe I’ll regret those last words! lol

I’m so well-versed in ALL the systems of the body, healthy behaviours, non-healthy behaviours, and health-interventions it’s nauseating. If I have to read about the effects of smoking, alcohol and being fat one more time I don’t know what I’ll do. Run to the nearest corner store and buy a carton of smokes, all the candy and junk I can find, and then after that go to the beerstore and drink myself into oblivion. It’s driving me batty, can you tell!?! …so monotonous. To make matters worse, once I’m done studying and am done writing the hour and a half exam I get to sit and listen to a lecture for the last hour and half of class. So not cool. What prof does that?!


I should get back to the movie. I don’t want to miss anything. lol But I’m sure I’ll be back before the night is over….before I write my exam tomorrow. 🙂


  • Michelle

    I should…..eat better.

    I should….organize my classroom.

    I should…. get out and meet new people.

    I should, I should, I should.

    Why is there always a massive gap between what we should do and what we actually end up pulling off? If I did everything I should, would my life then be perfect, is it that crushing fear that even if you did everything you should that the life you would be leading would still lead to disappointment and sadness.

    I should…. be happy.

    I should…. lose weight.

    I should…. exercise more.

    These statements all seem to make sense, but why is “should” so far from reality. I know that by doing these things my life would get better. Or would it? Have I ever met anyone with a perfect life, has doing all the “shoulds” ever led to pure, unadulterated bliss. The “shoulds” make sense, I know that they seem like great ideas at the time, but they quickly fall by the wayside as the “musts” pile up.

    I must… get my school work done.
    I must…behave like an adult.
    I must… pay my bills.
    I must…. wake up.

    I have always felt crushed by the expectations that I feel the world has for me. I am in my mid-twenties and I have no idea where my life is going to take me. I must act like I have it somewhat together or else people may see me for what I am. Someone who is scared and sometimes, most of the time, fails but occasionally has small, but proud successes. I must celebrate these successes and learn from my failures but not let them consume me. And then in run the “should nots”.

    I should not….be rude to others.
    I should not….complain about the minor indignities of everyday life.
    I should not ….disappoint my parents, my grandparents, my siblings, my friends, my co-workers, my students…..myself?
    I should not…..be me.

    Me, right now, is overweight and hoping to work on it, dead broke, struggling to make it through everyday life, and terrified of what is still to come. Right now, I am the opposite of what I should be and I feel free because of that. I am going to embrace what I am, who I am and who I may become in the future. I will not ignore the “shoulds”, the “musts”, and the “should nots”, but they will not run my life.

    • Laura

      Great post, Michelle! It makes complete sense to me. You summarized a lot of the things I’ve been dancing around here in the blog and in life. Love it. Keep on free associating writing here anytime you want! 😉

  • Jillian

    nice blog you too. It is true, we try to do everything right without realizing that life is too short to sit and dwell on what should and needs to be done. Be all that you can be and live life to the fullest is my philosophy.(Deal with the consequences later..lol).

  • Jillian

    my prev post i put too in the wrong context, i meant to say good work you two. sorry wanted to fix that is it driving me nuts and laura has taught me alot about grammar.

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