I remember what happened those many moons ago. I thought I had forgotten, but I haven’t. It came rushing back this week because of one of the topics in one of my classes. It made me feel blah. It made me feel angry. It made me feel disappointed in myself. It made me feel……. My husband made me feel better…like everything is ok. He will protect me from everything. Even the past when he wasn’t there. I know it’s not possible, but that’s how I feel. His protection is retroactive. So you better watch out. I haven’t felt like that in a while. But it made me feel alive and…

everything’s f&#^ed, everybody sucks. You don’t really know why but you feel like ripping someone’s head off!” Well I do know why actually. It’s Thursday night, normally my favourite night of the week, but I’m sitting here alone on the couch. My hubby is up the hill on Priestman in a hospital bed. 🙁 It is the first time since we’ve been married that we’ve slept apart and I don’t care for it. He doesn’t either. He’s not sleeping well at all, nor am I for that matter…it doesn’t help that they wake him almost every hour to check his vitals…but I miss that big furnace of mine when I’m…

Please cut us some slack!!! :@ Can’t we just have something good happen without having the other shoe drop? Everytime we come into a little bit of extra money something happens. Same with Visa…when it’s at zero something always springs up. We are not meant to have good luck. We should have known something was going to happen because we came into a little extra money AND our visa is balanced!!  PLUS, we have an appt. on Monday to have our car examined and fixed…the shake issue and the on and off little leak we’ve been experiencing with the coolant. Now, driving today the car was running great! All of…

That’s it. That’s all. I just feel like crying. The weight on my chest is unbearable. Why is it there? Not exactly sure. It’s just there. I feel tense and stressed and just want to sit down and cry.

Why can’t I find work? Why won’t someone hire me? I need a job, badly. It’s so frustrating. Finding a job is one of the hardest jobs in the world that’s for sure! I’m just so scared about the summer. I’m sending resume after resume to places around town (Freddy & Moncton) to get word out or what not. I just want to be back working with children. I miss the kiddies. I want to be back feeling I’m making a difference. I want to be able to play and get dirty and covered in paint and not have people look at me funny! I just need work. I’m so…