…and I’m definitely not compliment fishing! I’ve been having a few blah days or something and my confidence and self esteem is taking a bit hit. I just feel so…so…I don’t know…just unattractive.
I’m not going to sit here and say I’m fat and blah blah blah because I know I’m not fat. I may not be happy with the little chub that is accumulating over the winter, but I’m sure, and assume that it’s going to be like every other summer and I’ll lose this “insulation chub” as I call it. It honestly revolves around my top half….the boobage area. I honestly could do without them. It costs too much to “house” them. I’m just tired of having a chest. lol This is blasphemy in John’s eyes…and I understand that and normally I like my ‘not-so-secret weapons’ I guess but I’m just going through a stage. :@ AND the worst part of the upper body, in my opinion, the pinch of flab that you can NEVER get rid of between your arm/armpit/chest. You all probably know exactly what I’m talking about. John says you can get rid of it by doing certain exercises but I honestly believe girls cannot do it. Well “average” sized girls. Stick thin girls probably don’t get this. But when you are feeling extra huge in the boobage area AND that little flab is flabbier…it sucks.
I know 12 is a great size. Well for me and many others…others gasp at a 12 but it suits me just fine. Nothing wrong with wearing a large or extra large shirt either. Again, people gasp if you aren’t a small/medium, but honestly if the clothes fit people can’t tell the size. They are more apt to guess the bigger sizes when I squeeze into the “too small” clothes. I say I’d like to have so-and-so’s body so I could “look like that.” But seriously, I wouldn’t trade….there might be a few things I’d like changed if I *really* thought about it, but all in all, I like me. I’m just in a funk. Plain and simple.
I just know/hope others know what I’m talking about…those hours, days, weeks, months or whatever when you would love to not look in a mirror. When you need something to uplift you. Find a great shirt, or pair of pants or my favourite…to get a new haircut and/or colour. It’s been so long since I had a haircut. I am trying to wait to get to Moncton or Hali to get my hair cut but I don’t know if I can handle it much longer. I need something different. Something more mature. Something with less hair (you’d never know I got those 3″ cut off in the fall…it’s back to summer/wedding length). I’m afraid to go to someone I don’t know or doesn’t have an awesome reputation because they tend to see a lot of hair and want to hack it OR are too afraid I won’t like it and barely trim it. C’mon drop a pair and give me a great haircut. I have a weird shaped face, high wide cheek bones, so I’m sure there are certain haircuts I should avoid and should look great. Just need to find someone to give it to me. Anyone have someone like that? I do have Susan in Moncton but I kinda am in the mood to pay more money and go to the salon and be pampered instead of the cheaper route (nothing beats the scalp massages at a salon. lol). But it all depends on timing. Maybe for a late birthday present to myself I’ll get my hair cut…so Jill, anyone else from Freddy have someone I can go to? I could try and hold out for 2 weeks for Moncton but we’ll see. I’m at wits end.