2007,  random,  reflection

I wonder….I wonder…

Can we ever be grown ups? Is there such a thing?

Do we ever reach adulthood? Can we ever reach adulthood?

Everyone keeps talking about this almost mystical future of adulthood. It doesn’t feel any different than my late teens/early twenties so I must not be there yet.

I don’t like to eat the crust on bread. I don’t care for vegetables. Milk is my favourite beverage.  I’m picky.

Heck, how can we call ourselves adults when we still take naps (or want to take naps). We throw tantrums when things don’t go our way. We still cry for our parents when feeling sad or hurt. We whine. We aren’t the steadiest on our feet at times. The list goes on….

It sounds a lot like adulthood mirrors childhood. So, then why doesn’t a hug and a kiss make us feel better in an instant? Wouldn’t that be cool!

Adulthood is this unobtainable role I think. It’s there to make us feel better, to justify our actions, to keep us motivated and semi-focused.  We are striving for something. We can pretend we are adults but deep down we all know we yearn for that carefree childlike world. We act like we are prime and proper but have these almost primitive responses to pain, love, life. We are no different. Just getting saggier and slower.

We can’t run around the block for hours and just play. We’d die of a heart attack.

Why can’t we live of PB and Jelly? Why do we *have* to stop eating candy (I never got to that phase)?  Why can’t we cry when we fall? We must pull it together and act like a grownup. But frig, skinning your knee or stubbing your toe friggin hurts!  No wonder kids cry, it’s not a walk in the park.

It’s a grand illusion…one that everyone carries on for generations because they think they are alone in their thoughts because their parents and older relatives didn’t act like this, they didn’t feel like this…but do you know what, they probably did.

It’s all about expectations.

I don’t suddenly think you become a grown up…you have to work real hard on your thought process and train your body that you can no longer run and play outside all day. You convince yourself that you don’t have to nap. You train your response to pain and pleasure. You really have to concentrate on being “old” and “adult-like.”

People my age a generation or two ago were probably already married for a few years, with a house, and a kid or two or three. They were focused. They realized what was “expected” and caved to being an adult.  I’m not saying I don’t want these things. I’m not saying people who have those things settled. I’m just saying it is a thought process, not just a stage in one’s life that someone just reaches and transforms.

All I know is that I’m definitely not there yet.


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