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Weird day
Exploded today. Out of nowhere. Over nothing. I couldn’t control myself. I don’t like that me. It’s like something takes over. It’s something I can’t seem to stop. Bah. Enough about that. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and reflecting, and praying recently so my blog may have a weird spin. Maybe it won’t. Who knows. Maybe I’ll pose the questions to you guys and see what you think?! (lol) So I made lasagna this morning and it actually turned out. And if I don’t say so myself, John and I make the best lasagna I’ve ever eaten. Nothing fancy. Just meat and sauce and lots of cheese…not a…
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Ghosts of the Past
Can you erase your past? I don’t think so. It would be nice wouldn’t it. I don’t want to though. It’s me. It’s who I am. You can pretend I didn’t happen. But I so did. It all was so crazy and I lost so much. So much. I can never get it all back either. I’ve tried. I miss what I had before, before….but love what I have now. How is that possible?!? What a dichotomy. I miss my friends. I really miss my friends. I’ll just keep trying to reconnect. It’s all I can do.
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Mirror, Mirror
When I look in the mirror, all I see is you. Just you. I’m tired of looking at you. Being like you. Acting like you. No one likes you, you know. At least I think I know. Go away. Far away. Don’t come again another day. Where did you go? What did you become? Why are you there? Do you like it? Are you happy? Mirror, tell me… Tell me why when I look in the mirror all I see is you…
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Houses and Babies
Babies and houses! It seems each time I talk to someone they are buying a house (which by the way, every person I know who is getting a house is getting it within 3 days of each other!) or is having/had a baby. When did I get this old?!? (lol) One day we’ll have a house and start a family of our own but this definitely isn’t the time. We aren’t ready for that. Still want to be selfish and you can’t be selfish when you have kids. I do however, love that people I know are having babies so I can play with them and talk about them. I…
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“After a While”
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t always mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and parent’s aren’t promises and you begin to accept your defeats with you head held up high and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if…