Missing you, too.

I found one this amongst Mom’s things. It addressed to me but not yet sent. It broke my heart, for obvious reasons.

Ever since becoming pregnant this time, I miss her even more and I didn’t think that was even possible. But it is. I shared every minute of pregnancy with her because she was so excited and wanted to know everything. She was always asking, wondering, and wishing she could put her hand on my belly and feel the movement. This time I long for those conversations and to tell her everything and share every belly photo and ultrasound photo and little story and hear/see the joy in her face. Going through pregnancy without Mom is harder than I thought. She was the only person I’d call and skype as soon as I could. I will always remember those skype conversations from L&D and her setting her eyes on my boys for the first time. Pure love. Pride. Happiness. I fear that’s when it will hit me the hardest….after this little one is here and John and I are alone in L&D waiting to be told which maternity room we can go to and I’m there in silence with a wee one. It’s when I should be calling my Mom. She’s the only person I have ever wanted to talk to in that moment and the only person I would ever share that moment with and now I can’t. It’ll be me alone with my thoughts and hopes and wishes. So happy but missing one of the most important people in my life, in one of the most important moments in my life. It’s going to be bittersweet I’m sure.

All this rambling to say, Mom I miss you too. I think of you all the time. Thank you for the card. <3