How much info can my brain hold before it goes ka-blew-ee!! I think I’m testing the limits of it today and feeling guilty for not doing this work I’m doing today yesterday. hehe Had I focussed like this yesterday, today would be a joke. I am seeming to retain the info quite easily but that is worrying me. Will I sit down at the exam and go blank!? That is a big fear of mine. I’ve had it happen once before on a final and it certainly wasn’t pretty! It’s the risks I take I guess. But if I had done all this yesterday I’d probably be running around like a chicken with my head cut off….what would I be doing to fill the time? I wouldn’t be the queen of procrastination either. Many have tried to take the title, but I own it! 😉
Had I been a studious person and responsible I probably would be sitting comfortably on the couch watching Law & Order instead of cramming stuff into this melon of mine. But heck, what fun is that!? I thrive under pressure and stress. This is my calling. haha
I often wonder what would be different had I not been a crammar and last night paper queen. Would I make better grades? Worse grades? Or be the same? Hrmmm. I wonder. Had I BOMBED the first paper I wrote in University, that I wrote the night before, would I have changed my ways? What about studying. Had I bombed the first exams I wrote at University would I have become a person who keeps up on the readings and studies in the recommended time frame? Maybe. Quite possibly. But what would have been the fun in that. Look at all the fun I would have missed!
I had a 93 avg. leaving high school. I ended up graduating on the honour roll at University. These are the tried, tested, and true methods for me and somehow I defy all the odds and research and it works for me. I wish I had more gusto for keeping up on work but I don’t. Never did. I honestly believe now that I think about it, this is the best I can do. I can study for weeks a little each night and I would imagine that the outcome would be no different.
People say I am blessed with not having to work *really* hard to get great marks and be a great student. But honestly, I work just as hard as the next person…I just cram it into a 1, 2, or 3 day epic battle. It’s a nack I have. I felt bad for a long time that things came kinda easily for me but really, it’s not easy. No one sees what goes on behind these closed doors. Only a select few have seen me break and crack under the pressure I put myself under. I read at lightning speed and get all the info into my brain. I “throw up” all this info onto exam and it neatly stores itself away for another rainy day. I don’t just sit back and have these marks appear on their own…I work for them all, just like the next person.
I work my a$$ off when my playtime is over. I enter the study zone and am completely focussed. It works for me and I won’t be made to feel bad any longer that I can achieve the same marks or sometimes better marks (or sometimes worse) than the people who spread their work out and don’t procrastinate. I’m an oddity I guess. I realize I should be failing or just scraping through but I’m not. I never have. I must have some great genes. It’s actually a relief to write all this down a few hours before a big final.
It works for me, almost always has….so I’ll keep the stress and pressure and it’ll be all over shortly and I’ll swear I’ll never do this to myself again! But life’s a vicious circle…so we’ll see where I am in a week with the other exams. But I have a funny feeling it’s going to be deja vu.