Tired

Back to being tired a lot of the time.

Just plain tired.

I don’t want to get up out of bed in the am. But I do at the same time. I want to go to work and start my day but my butt is dragging. I want to be asleep early in the evening. But right now it’s almost 11pm and I’m still up. Doing laundry and typing away.

But I realized tonight how much I miss my friends. Well not just friends…more so friendships. Close friendships I had with family and friends. I still have them. I know they aren’t lost but missing the person to person contact is harder. How much I long for contact outside of the relationship I have with J. Work is one thing. But my personal life is another.  It just seems so different out here. Back in NB I knew that my friends and family were in bed or eating supper or working at the same time as I was. It’s like that whole idea of living under the same big sky. I don’t feel that connectedness or something. It’s hard to explain.

I am trying to reach out and I know it’ll take time. I’ve only been here under 2 months and only working for about 3 weeks. Not much time. But I’ve never been known for my patience. I’ll make connections and reach out and go from there.

I feel like I’m missing out on a lot out here. Carli’s getting married and I’m her MOH and can’t be there to do all the fun wedding stuff with her. Kim’s little one is going to be 1 soon. Lisa is going to be a Mom in a few short weeks. Jill is starting a new life in NL. Meghan is living it up in Korea. Michelle has a new puppy….I want a puppy. I need a bigger place before I can get a puppy though. We have a teeny-tiny place. Not fair to a dog. But that’s another story for another day.

Feel free to come visit me anytime. It’s what will keep me sane. Keep me going. Make me feel not so isolated.

But other than that, I do love my job. I like the city. The people seem pretty good so far. I’ll make it. I just have my days, as we all do.