Today my heart is heavy.

Today my heart is heavy.

I miss you. I miss you so bad. Today my heartbreaks just a little bit more than it normally does. I should be skyping with you while you finish lobster and chat with your “Granny’s boys”. I still find it hard to believe this is my life now. That I’m going to be alive so long with you.

Today I finally and fully understand the mixed emotions you felt on Mothers’ Day. You lost Reta (your Mom#1 as you called her) after only 8 short years the day after Mothers’ Day and then once you were a Mother you had us rapscallions eagerly awaiting to give you cards, homemade items, and breakfast in bed so you had to balance this sadness with the immense joy your kids bring you. You couldn’t curl up in bed and pretend today isn’t happening like you probably wished some years. I get it. I wish I didn’t though. But, after 53 Mothers’ Days passed you get to spend one with Reta and I’m sure you are loving every minute. At least that thought brings me happiness because you have been dreaming of that moment forever.

I am the Mother I am because of you. The advice I’ve been given and the lessons you helped me become the person I am. We couldn’t be more different in many ways and we struggled to understand each other because of it but we both come from a long line of strong women who persevere and love with every inch of our being.

Today I miss you even more than yesterday.