2018,  BabyA2012,  Grieving Mom

Once upon a dream

I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream
I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam
And I know it’s true that visions are seldom all they seem
But if I know you, I know what you’ll do
You’ll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream

 

This morning after your sister woke up at 5am, I went back to sleep and for the first time you came to me in my dream. It wasn’t until the end but we were living in Stellarton, my house was on the main street not far from where my Gram used to live for some reason. I picked everyone up from camp and was in a crazy rush because it was the first day of school and we were late.

Your 2 brothers got away on the bus, we said goodbye to Dad as he went to work, and I was taking you and Charlotte to school. You were wearing your Toronto toque for some reason even though it wasn’t winter. We walked hand in hand down the street with you while your sister raced ahead, and wasn’t listening like usual. You weren’t saying a word. We were just walking.

Once we got to school, which was a mish-mash of my elementary school, high school, and your school. We passed your Kindergarten class and you wanted to go in but I said we had to keep going to meet your new teacher. For some reason we had a crazy amount of steps to climb to get to your class. It was taking forever and kids were starting to bump into you and throwing off your balance. So like I’ve done for years, I picked you up and you wrapped your arms around and just snuggled in and I kept climbing.

It wasn’t much longer until I woke. We never got to your class or where we were going but my arms woke up feeling the familiar weight of you in my arms. I had muscle memory and was reminded all too well that my arms won’t be carrying you up any steps when we are running behind and I won’t be dropping you off on your first day of school on Tuesday.

But, it was great seeing you in my dreams walking around being you, if even it was just for a few short minutes. <3

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