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Bravest Thing
The prompt for November 13th was: What’s the bravest thing you’ve done? That question happened to fall on the day I was facing the biggest decision about my son’s medical care that I have ever faced. I just couldn’t get my thoughts to come together over that day, and the one after, to make a coherent post. I will now. I have time to reflect back and relax since we are home. Before that day, I didn’t know what I would have answered. Brave is a big strong word. There are many things I’ve done that I’m proud of and glad I overcame. For instance, childbirth. I don’t think that…
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I’ve Been Sprung!
Mommy & Daddy are proud to let the world know that I’m being sent home! I can’t wait to get to my own bed and see my puppy. I feel like I’ve been in forever. The PICU is a scary place but they do have great care. But I’ve never been happier to leave. Homeward bound! Onwards & upwards!
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Phew!
Today I can finally breathe a huge sigh of relief! We’ve had a very stressful couple of days. The Doctors, well one Doctor in particular, was throwing around big scary words and fear mongering. She was wanting us to make an impossible decision. She wanted us to consent to Noah having a trach. Talk about coming out of the blue. It completely caught me off guard and I immediately welled up, listened to what she had to say and as soon as she left, called J. The fact she mentioned it didn’t surprise me as it seemed like that’s what they have been eluding to for quite some time but…
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It Spins My Head Right Round
My head is spinning. So much information. So much emotion. I don’t even think I can put it all out there tonight. I don’t want to. I’m retreating inwards and trying to figure it all out on my own. I’m trying to understand. Everything is constantly swirling and it’s disjointed. I need to research. I need to reach out to others who have been here; to others who have worked cases like Noah’s. I’m lost. Completely out of my own realm of experience. I need guidance. Someone give me guidance. And peace.
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If you could change one thing about your life right now…
…what would it be? Good question. I have a ton of answers if I really think about. But at the same time, do I really want those things to change. I could wish about changing our finances. Where I’m living. My extreme shyness, which I’m told is probably not shyness at all but a social anxiety disorder. Health for family members. My weight. How disconnected I am from friends. The fact that I’m a picky eater. But honestly, first thought goes to changing our youngest son’s diagnosis. I would take those years of therapies away for him in an instant. The hurdles he is going to (and will) overcome. The ignorance he’s going…