So how sad is it that I now dread Saturdays and I fear it’s only going to get worse once BabyA arrives. Luckily I will be too sleep deprived to know what day it is! lol
This job J is on was supposed to be every second Saturday…well he’s had 1, maybe 2, off since starting in January. It sucks. It makes me hate this stupid province even more. I can’t do anything. Well now I might be able to start getting out and going for walks now that the weather has been nice but up until recent it was icy and cold and I didn’t feel like walking.
I hate that I can’t just pick up the phone whenever I want/need to without looking at the clock and figuring out what time it is home…if it’s a good time to call…what the other person might be doing. It sucks. Plain and simple.
I fear that this is going to carry over and intensify when the baby arrives because J isn’t going to be here on Saturdays then either and is going to be working sun up to sun down I’m sure. Leaving me alone in this stupid province tired and wanting to be back East.
That’s the part I dread.
The alone. Feeling stuck in the house with no where to go and no one to visit. I’ll get out and about and enjoy the nice weather as much as I can but it gets friggin’ hot here. Heat with no fresh water or beaches and a husband who is too busy with work to be able to come and help me out when I need it. It’s going to be interesting.
I used to like my time alone on Saturdays once to get things done. But now I find I can’t even grocery shop alone because I get too winded or the bags are way too heavy. I could pack them lighter I suppose but out here in this stupid province you have to pay for your bags and I only have so many cloth ones & baskets. Plus, the people out on Saturday mornings/afternoons are morons. Ramming things with carts. Not knowing how to drive or park. I just get infuriated when I go. My pace has slowed down so I can’t whiz around these morons and get in and out as fast as I used to. So I just sit back and try to relax and “enjoy this time” as everyone tries to tell me. Easier said than done. I have stuff that needs to be done in the house and I can’t. It’s driving me mental. I mean I *can* do it if it were setup right but me trying to uninstall closet doors, take them apart to paint is a little hard. I tried. They are heavy and cumbersome and I shouldn’t be doing it alone anyways. Maybe I should hire someone to do all these little medial tasks that I used to be able to do but am now dependent on others. Because at this rate things are never going to get done. Hello Peter…Kevin… someone…. come help me take these doors off so I can be done with at least one medial task.
J doesn’t want me doing these things anyways because don’t you know, pregnant women are fragile or something. 😛 It’s not like we’ve been incubating babies for centuries or anything. It’s fine if the work could get done on my schedule but because I can’t do it myself anymore I have to be dependent on others schedules. Which sucks. I’m not one to wait around and be patient. It sucks. Plain & simple.
Don’t get me wrong. I loooove being pregnant. I love feeling all the kicks and twitches and seeing my belly grow. I know I’m doing the most important job but still… I want to get other things done too. I used to be able to multitask quite well once upon a time.