I was back on track and doing pretty well keeping people up to date with life and pregnancy and all things us. Then once tests came back and gender was revealed I felt weird talking about and celebrating “normal”. It was like I was taking away from our Noah journey and it felt weird to me to make any sort of deal over the health of O. As if any celebration was a kick in the pants to Noah. I know, couldn’t be further from the truth but it was a strange place to be in.
I love Noah and every thing about him and the memories I have of his pregnancy so rejoicing over something that is such a big part of who he is and who I have become was hard to reconcile.