2012,  BabyA2012,  reflection

Fearfully and wonderfully made

In the past almost 3 months, I’ve learned more about the medical system than I ever cared to know. I know so many procedures, abbreviations, big fancy-smanchy words I never dreamed of knowing. Let alone being able to spell them. This has been intense crash course in life and brought a whole new level to motherhood.

But one thing I must admit I hate is the wording medical and non-medical people alike use when describing babies that aren’t ‘typical.’ Words such as wrong, ideal, normal, the dreaded “r” word, and the list could go.

There is nothing “wrong” with my littlest man. He is exactly how he was made. He may not be typical, but there is nothing worse than someone saying a “normal baby”, implying my son is abnormal. He’s not. He is who he is and he’s going to shock and awe the world. Just you wait and see.  Same with the term “ideal baby.” He is perfect. Absolute perfection if I may be so bold.

He may not be typical but he is still a baby first. He is not defined by his syndrome. Yes, it’s a part of him and who he is and who he will be but it’s not him. He is still just a baby who has some extra challenges he’ll need to overcome. He wants to feel loved and feel attachment and feel safe just like any other baby.

So please, don’t ask me what’s “wrong” with my son. There’s nothing “wrong” and don’t be surprised if you get a snarky “what is wrong with you?” in return as I turn to walk away.

I’d say everything went right because we had a 0.0001 chance of never meeting N, of never being able to hold this little man who loves to cuddle and brings so much joy to us and his older brother. Don’t get me wrong. It’s hard and I would give anything to take these challenges away for him but I can’t. I can’t constantly focus on the “what-ifs” or I’d go crazy. I definitely have moments where the tears break through and sadness creeps in but those times are getting further and further apart. It doesn’t change how much I love him. It just changes how I will have to care for him.

So let’s think about those odds again. I had a 99.9999% chance of never meeting this beautiful little boy. I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. Extra appointments, challenges, fancy-schmancy medical terms, and all. Above all else, he is my beautiful son who is going to shock and awe the world. Mark my words he will.


  • Mom

    Your words brought tears to my eyes and evoked such strong feelings against anyone who would say things that could be hurtful to him or any of our family concerning Noah. I haven’t met my newest grandson yet but I couldn’t love him anymore than I already do. How dare people imply that he isn’t “normal”! He is just a baby and whatever he will be able to do or not do does not diminish the fact that he is a little boy who was created by love and is loved more than words can say by so many people already and will be by those he will come in contact with throughout his life! That is what matters most. It is the love we all have for him that will help him be the best person he can be (as you said, he’ll show the medical people and the world just how amazing he is/will be), no doubt about that!

  • Lisa

    Laura, N is amazing and has already shown that he is capable of great things! Anyone who thinks he is less than perfection is wrong. I love your little man and can’t wait to hold him!

  • Frankie Dee

    You have an amazing family Laura, and you and John are incredible parents! I cannot wait to meet your wonderful little man! 🙂

  • Minnie

    VERY well said Laura! Already amazed by the strength that you have..I have sure that N has a little something to do with that..and as for shocking the world..seems like he already has b/c he should not even be here! <3

  • Nita

    Very well said Laura…with that great attitude you will be able to meet head on anything that is thrown at you….Noah is so lucky to have you and John as his parents…

  • Becki Henderson

    Well said Laura. Challenges are what make this world interesting. I’ve always said how boring this world would be if everyone was the same. You will learn and grow so much through this experience which is your life thanks to him. Please know that through peoples ignorance you will be able to educate them. They are probably well meaning while not being well worded. It’s good that they ask questions, they care enough to ask. You will have to get used to this as it is going to happen over and over but don’t stop teaching the world just how “special” (in a good sense) Noah is and if they care enough to ask maybe they care enough to help. Miss you tons, Becki,

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