2012,  reflection

What would I say

Extreme Parenting Project

I saw this video today and it inspired me to think of what I would have told myself on those early days.

But first off, I love the name “Extreme Parenting”. That’s exactly what this is. Parenting brought to a whole new level of crazy.

There is so much I would go back and tell myself. Some of it I don’t feel like sharing because it’s that personal. But trying to come up with 1 thing, or one thought is a lot. There is plenty I’d tell myself and I’m just in the beginning stages of it all.

The first thing that comes to mind is You CAN do this.

I spent many a days crying and wondering how on Earth I was going to do this. Take care of him. Teach him. Every one said “you will”, “you’re strong”, etc. but in those moments people could have told me my eyes are green and I wouldn’t have believed them. I believed they had no idea what I was feeling and about to face for the rest of my life. And yes, I do I have green eyes.

Next I would say: You will feel happiness again.

As I think I’ve posted about before, I was in a dark place grieving and I saw families with the same diagnosis happily smiling and loving life. I didn’t think it was possible. I honestly questioned what was wrong with me that I couldn’t feel that and what did they have to do to get to that point. But one day I woke up and I was one of those happy people I questioned just months, and even the day before. I have my moments of sadness and down days but they are fewer and further between.

That point leads me to: Everything you are experiencing and feeling is COMPLETELY NORMAL. 

I took shame in some of the things I thought and said to myself. It made me question who I was. Some of it still does and I’m still processing to this day. But I learned, it’s something all the other Mamas went are going through and it’s a life long process. It’s our right of passage. It’s normal.

Everything will be ok.

Eli will be fine. He loves his brother more than pizza.

And lastly, Noah will make everything worth it.


  • Megan

    “But one day I woke up and I was one of those happy people I questioned just months, and even the day before.” Yes! I was so sad, so miserable, and I have no real memory of a transition to being content and even happy with our lives with Evie. Not sure if it’s because I was sleep deprived and have few memories of those days or if it really was that sudden of a change.

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