• 2013,  BabyA2014

    Another day in the vicious cycle

    I spent the majority of yesterday afternoon and evening in tears convinced that when MFM calls it’s not going to be good news. It’s like a reoccurring bad dream where they tell me and I fall to the ground in tears and somehow have to call your Dad. It keeps playing over and over. Is it because my instinct is trying to prepare me or just me being over paranoid? It’s only been 3 weeks of waiting and I worry it’s going to be 3 more. We’ve sent an email to our genetic counselor to see if she can find out turnaround time so we will have a better idea…

  • 2013,  family,  Pics

    Advent Calendar

    Well I finally got on the ball and finished the Advent Calendar tonight. I did “cheat” a bit as I got a template for the numbers off the internet that was free shared because I didn’t have enough time to design my own. I came up with a list of 50+ activities to add to each day and added the ones we wanted to do with the boys. I also laminated those so we can just re-use them each year and easily add to them as the kids get older. Something like this: Here’s the list of things we are doing this year: Get photos taken by Jenn Watch Frosty…

  • 2013,  BabyA2014,  Pics

    18w Scan = Complete

    Well yesterday was the anatomy scan in Calgary. We stayed overnight since I was the first ultrasound of the day at 7:45am. No way we’d be driving for that. Brutal time. I had to get up early just to make sure I drank water with enough time. For those who know me, know I love my sleep and getting up before I really have/want to for drinking water was like torture but it was worth it. Finally our turn and it was the same room I had been in for N’s fetal echo. I’ve never seen any of the other rooms. Maybe the next appt. I will. N started panicking…

  • 2013,  BabyA2014

    Almost anatomy scan time

    Just days away from our anatomy scan. The anxiety is building. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited but there is this nagging voice in my mind prepping me for bad news. It doesn’t make sense in that I’ve never gotten bad news at an ultrasound or echo, just got a big ol’ surprise after labour but I can’t tell you the number of minutes, probably hours, I’ve spent staring at the ultrasounds I’ve had done and analyzing each little thing. The growth of this baby, the heart rate, my glucose levels, etc. You name it, I’ve studied and compared it to previous pregnancies, which is ridiculous because it will tell…

  • 2013,  rants'r'us


    Let me step off my positive pedestal for a minute. It’s one of those times where I feel like I failure. Like I am failing N. I feel like I’m not doing enough and he’s just falling further and further behind. And it’s my fault. Realistically I know it’s not my fault but I like to tell myself other things sometimes. I see all these kids making strides and hitting new milestones and we are here, where we’ve always been with some regression. And it leaves me to wonder, is it my fault? If I did more, would he do more. I know…complete nonsense but it’s how I feel at…


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