-
My words for Noah
I could have written for hours. For days. There was so much I could say and that I wanted to say but I settled for what I needed to say. I wish I could have read these words out loud myself but most of the time now I can’t even open my mouth to speak. The tears just flow. My eyes hopefully telling every one what I want to be saying when my actual words are failing. Sorrow. Torment. Love. Thank you. One week ago today I was crawling out of bed to start our usual morning routine when everything came shattering down around us. I still don’t think it…
-
Overwhelmed
The word of the day is overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with emotional torture. Overwhelmed with the physical pain. Overwhelmed with the support. Overwhelmed with love. Overwhelmed with life today.
-
I’m going to be raw here. My boys aren’t sleeping well. They are afraid to go to sleep. They are afraid they aren’t going to wake up. They need someone with them and even when they do manage sleep they are restless and frightened and sad. How do I comfort them and make them understand that sleep won’t hurt them when all they know is Noah went to sleep and never woke up?! My poor kids, who also loved Noah with every inch of their being, are struggling with managing emotions that I, as an adult can’t even comprehend and explain. This is the absolute worst pain I could feel…
-
Noah 💕
It’s with the heaviest hearts we must say that our beautiful Noah has passed away unexpectedly in his sleep this morning. John and the EMT tried everything but were unable to save him. We are shattered. The last 6 years and 2 months was not long enough. We wanted more. We needed more. We thought we had more but that wasn’t the plan and our lives will forever be missing the years we didn’t get. But the years we did get were amazing. Sure it seemed daunting and some times was really hard but it was worth it. It was worth every.single.second. He had the best life and felt love…
-
Rising
I’ve been focusing on me and my little fam jam this month. That meant I had to step away from my most active social media platform. I was too invested in things. I couldn’t ‘not read’ the comments. I see memes/false information that my “friends” and strangers comment on and then think “why are these people even on my friends list?” But, for the sake of being nice I left them but I don’t need to have every old friend or acquaintance and I was starting to spend more time angry and on the verge of tears than feeling happy when trying to see updates from the people I care about.…