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What’s in a name?
Everything. Absolutely everything. A diagnosis. A label. Finality. Funding. Acceptance. A common bond. We officially got the 100% diagnosis of Noah yesterday. No more clinical diagnosis. There is no refuting it by anyone. I knew it was going to be an almost bittersweet phone call and I expected to have mixed emotions. But I had very intense emotions that I wasn’t counting on. It was like the rug was pulled out from under me once again. I was hysterical for a brief moment. But, I knew this was what he had before even leaving the hospital. I was prepared to fight for the same diagnosis if the genetic testing came…
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What Should Have Been
April 1st. The day I had been eagerly anticipating for what felt like eternity. The day was quickly filled with nervous anticipation and a flurry of phone calls being made trying to make arrangements. This was happening. It was the day I was going to become a mother of two. I was ecstatic. J was over the moon. Eli knew something was about to change and was so cute and excited and he didn’t even really understand the reason. But he knew something special was going to happen! One hour I was home with my oldest son and 1.5 hours later I was holding my newest son in my arms.…
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The Special Mother
The Special Mother by Erma Bombeck Did you ever wonder how mothers of disabled children were chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. “This one gets a daughter. The Patron saint will be Cecelia” “This one gets twins. The Patron saint will be Matthew” “This one gets a son. The Patron saint…..give her Gerard. She’s used to profanity” Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles. “Give her a disabled child”. The angel is curious. “Why this one God? She’s so happy”…
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Fearfully and wonderfully made
In the past almost 3 months, I’ve learned more about the medical system than I ever cared to know. I know so many procedures, abbreviations, big fancy-smanchy words I never dreamed of knowing. Let alone being able to spell them. This has been intense crash course in life and brought a whole new level to motherhood. But one thing I must admit I hate is the wording medical and non-medical people alike use when describing babies that aren’t ‘typical.’ Words such as wrong, ideal, normal, the dreaded “r” word, and the list could go. There is nothing “wrong” with my littlest man. He is exactly how he was made. He…
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Stranger Things have Happened
For some reason I decided to read through my pregnancy journal yesterday. There were many things I already didn’t remember and one especially stood out for me. It was an entry a couple days before I found out I was expecting N. I was having a reoccurring dream that I called so bizarre. In the dream I was “sort of” blind and dizzy. Say whuuuuttt. I commented on how in the dream I was unable to wake up and be my normal self, that this was my life. I just commented on how weird it was. I still don’t remember having that dream but there must have been something that…